If you’re having behavior issues with your dog. May it be leash reactivity, people reactivity, doesn’t listen, recall, ANYTHING. You may want to take a step back and figure out if you have the core foundation of TRUST, with your dog.
If you don’t have trust, you have nothing.
Trust= Safety
As we start this conversation and continue it over the next several months, it is important to note that relationships in general are incredibly layered. This series of articles is written to give a full spectrum understanding of how we can connect with and relate more deeply to our dogs. We will be looking through the lenses of personal experience, canine biology, and physical & emotional needs, while considering optimal fulfillment and balanced behavior.
This content is intended to build on itself to paint a well-rounded picture of how we can live with our dogs in a way that fosters peace and ultimately ease. Trust and respect are what we see as fundamental in relationship. We will dive into what these words mean, how they feel to our dogs, and what can move us in the direction of integrating them more into our bonds with them. We will continue to return to these words throughout this series and ultimately go deeper into the nuance and details as we progress. We will cover trust first and move into respect for our next newsletter. Let’s start with the definition of trust- which is defined as “a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something.” Using this definition, we aim to apply what it means as best we can from the dog’s perspective and examine how we can ultimately bring more trust into our relationships with them. Some of the content will be actionable steps in what can be done, and a lot of the content will be covering philosophy, concepts and hopefully will provide and encourage an expansion of awareness around dogs in general.
In order to earn trust, we must be willing to dedicate time to our relationship(s). This time can be spent reading about canine behavior, observing our dogs without distraction, going on longer or more frequent walks, or this time can be spent taking scent work or agility classes with our dogs. Intentional time spent is simply put, gold. Not only does it take time to learn more about our dogs; it takes time to change our habits, thoughts, perspectives and relationships. Trust is built over time.
To some it may sound wild that one of the most important parts of creating a felt sense of safety for our dogs is to clearly lay out what the rules, boundaries, and limitations for them are. Here’s a human example: when raising children within our society, we help them to understand the different sets of rules in order to set them up for optimal success. We teach them to wait patiently for their turn rather than to interrupt or talk over others, we teach them that kicking and biting are not acceptable ways to get what we want-that there are other avenues of communication. We teach them to look both ways before crossing the street. If these rules are kept consistent, children in turn feel safe. They feel safe in part because they feel confident in their knowledge and understanding of what the rules, limitations, and boundaries are. If the rules are consistent, they are unsurprising and therefore worthy of trust.
A sense of safety also comes from the feeling that there is something bigger than us; that we are being metaphorically held, if you will. Systems and guidelines create structure; think timeframes for team meetings or therapy, city ordinances, or an outline for the curriculum of a class. For dogs, examples are structured leash walks and household rules like no jumping on humans, pulling on the leash, barking at the mailman, or chasing the cat. For a child, safety may include the knowledge that their caregivers will always put food on the table; that this is a part of life they don’t have to worry about- a part of life they can trust. If children (or adults, or dogs) carry the feeling that systems or leaders are unpredictable, they may start to feel responsible for everything around them. They may feel that they must make the decisions 100% of the time. This increases stress, anxiety and can build a sense of chaos and an internal state of fear. To feel taken care of and like somebody else will handle keeping us safe is a relief; this particularly rings true for dogs and kids. We ask ourselves if our dogs trust that their needs are going to be met by us.
When we adopt dogs and bring them into our homes it is our responsibility to not only set the framework for existence within our households and in the world; it is our responsibility to do it in a way that makes sense to them. Consistency and clarity are paramount to building trust. We will unravel this as we get further into the topics of communication and boundaries.