Why is your dog reactive, and or miss behaves when they’re with you? But not with your significant other, family, or even your dog walker?
In simple yet blunt terms. Your dog thinks of you as a lesser and or a play mate rather than someone who is in charge, and can be their leader.
But I feed my dog, give them unconditional love and affection, I give them treats, play games, take them on walks. I give them new beds if they chew them up and countless toys to play with.
That right there is the problem. Your dog lives a life of free food, a warm place to sleep, shelter over their head, veterinary care, treats, toys, and playmates. Your dog is basically a horrible roommate that mooches off you because they’re good at giving puppy eyes. Your dog has no structure, no rules, violates all the boundaries. And yes, this is blunt, but you’re irrelevant to your dog. But how can I be irrelevant to my dog, if I give him everything he needs?
Because everything he needs and gets is free. Yes, it may come from you but there is no meaning behind it other than you are being their servant.
Your dog wants to work, they want to find where they fit in your pack. They want a job to do even if that job is following the rules and boundaries you set up. On top of that. Your dog will look to you more, want to follow you, and YOU will become the center of your dog’s world if you do so.
Why? Because your dog doesn’t want to oversee our human life. They don’t want the responsibility to ensure your safety all the time. They want to enjoy their walk, go lay out in the sun, and not have a care in the world all while still being fed, loved, and taken care of. We as humans stress every day doing our day-to-day routine and being sure the house is clean, laundry is done, bills are paid, and food is on the table. Our dogs cannot and will not handle that kind of stress well.
We need to remember where dogs came from. We need to remember that we didn’t get a dog for them to hold onto all our stress, and take on the duty of being our security dogs. We got a dog so they could be a part of our family. Well in most families that I know of everyone has rules and boundaries to follow. Everything in the household must contribute in some way, shape. Or form to insure the household runs smooth. Your dog’s only part should be lounging around and enjoy life.
When I say rules and boundaries I’m not saying they need to lay down on command, or sit and wait patiently, or know a place command for when people come over. They don’t need to be an obedient drill team dog. They just need to understand that they’re not the high man on to totem pole.
As a dog walker, I have a much different relationship with my client’s dogs than they do. Why because I must not just manage one dog. I manage up to 36 dogs a day and all those dogs need to listen to me in the blink of an eye or bad things can happen. I always need to stay relevant to the dogs I care for because their safety is on the line. That’s why I don’t let them get away with rude and unwanted behavior when they’re with me. I don’t let them jump all over me, or push their way through doors. I don’t let them continue to play if I tell them to stop. I don’t let them drag me around on walks or pee on every bush, shrub, or rock when we’re out.
Why?
Because when I am out walking 12 dogs I need to be of higher value to them, than the barking dog. The squirrel who runs out in front of us, the kids screaming from the car. I need to not only be their leader but someone they look to when they don’t know what to do. I do that by being sure they follow the rules. Because if they don’t, they will not even know I exist when that small animal darts out in front of us.
The dogs think they need me (and they do). They know I am the key holder to love and affection and I only give it at the right time. Usually only when I call them over to me. Why? Because love and affection do not happen too often so when I offer it to the dogs, they take that over anything else around. It also reinforces their recall. Dogs don’t need love and affection to LOVE you. Hell, I don’t cuddle and love on every single dog that comes over, and each dog that does come over. Enters my house with a wagging tail and a bounce in their step ready for the day. Probably because coming out with me or over to my house is a place they can relax, have fun, and not worry about anything other than being a dog.
When at home they must worry about who’s coming to the door, when dinner time is, if the humans are ok, constantly check for dropped food on the floor, insure all their toys are accounted for, and patrol the back fence for possible intruders and ambushes by squirrels. On top of that, there could be a loose paper bag outside that needs to be chased away.
Dogs are simple animals we just turn it into such complexity that we feel letting our dogs do what we want and forcing us to suffer through it, is better than hiring a trainer, or taking the time to train our dogs. We don’t want to put in the work because we already have so much on our plate. But that’s the thing it’s not a lot of work after you set the rules and boundaries. Because eventually it will just become known to the dog that this is everyday life and THIS is what I am supposed to do!
Love,
D